Down South (Wale, feat. Yella Beezy)

I heard on BBC Minute this morning that the third Monday in January is being called Blue Monday, because it’s apparently the saddest day of the year. First I’d heard of that, and while it may be true for some, it’s a lot less sad when you’re not drinking. In fact, I got up this morning, thankful for not having a hangover and thought of how happy I was as I did my workout in the back room. And I was happier still, under grey skies and flurries, to go to Andi’s rescue farm and also help make some animals happy.

Last week I finished my interviews, with one company on Tuesday and the second (with their CEO and CSO) on Wednesday. I heard back from the first company on Thursday with news of an offer in the offing and it became clear that we’d most likely be moving again.

These developments didn’t have me jumping up and down, feeling like I’d won something. It felt instead like the next step was somehow compulsory, even if we’ve grown to love it here in central Jersey, with our place on the pond and its bucolic-in-middle-of-everything vibe. As I drove back from the gym with coffee on Friday morning, I was listening to Mastersystem’s “Bird is Bored of Flying” where Scott Hutchinson sings,

There’s such a place as too far
There’s such a thing as too much
And we all want fire until it burns
And we all want more until it starts to hurt

I took the picture below looking out past biked-passed farm fields, and as I turned onto Cranbury Neck road, I could see the Sourlands rising up on the horizon beyond Princeton. What in the world is all the striving meant for if it means you can’t enjoy what you have? At work, people I care about will feel abandoned when they hear of my leaving. Friends and family who thought we’d be returning next year are going to be disappointed as we are that we won’t be resuming our lives with them as planned. And I’m feeling tired of always starting over again in my life.

But on the other hand, adventure awaits, with new opportunities for learning and discovery. With Andi, I’m ready for whatever happens next.